Sold Out - aka, I drank the last one…Couldn’t find this as a single; had to buy a six-pack. I had a few and they seriously aren’t bad. They are the perfect flavor palette for this festival. But 10% will knock your nuts off. Notes of cranberry, orange peel, cinnamon and nutmeg.

Wild yeast. That means they don’t clean their equipment well. Yum.

Pours a semi clean medium brown colour with a thin tan head. Nose is herbal rye bread and toasted malt. Flavour is as the nose along with an earthy character.

Light, crisp, and easy drinking, with a light toasty malt character

Blah Blah NA, now with flavor?

This rich and decadent non-alcoholic stout-style craft brew is made with roasted peanuts, hazelnuts, and chocolate.

This festive IPA is loaded with the dankest, sticky, drippy, and piney hops the Gigantic brewers could get their hands on. I love a brewery that understand the beer-naming assignment.

Double-hopped IPA with an experimental variety. Sounds sus to me.

The warm notes of cinnamon, nutmeg and vanilla in this winter ale will keep you Comfy Womfy all season long.

Blast from the past - an 11% ABV that’s been aging since 2013, which is also 11 years ago. There’s some spooky symmetry going on here, I hope it’s good. But who am I kidding? It’s a Barley Wine, it will be overpowering to the palette.

Expecting a bland, malty overdose of stoutness. But the fucking name!

Probably some boring (but tasty?) Ale. High ABV for an ale, can’t say I’ve seen many ‘Imperial’ Ales, so who the fuck knows. Drink it while you can…

Showers of Pilsner, I am the least hopeful here.

Whenever they call themselves a ‘winter warmer’, I want to gag a pitchfork. This one is satanically complex: ginger, cinnamon, ginger-bread, nutmeg, allspice, malty toffee, and honey.

This yuletide IPA is brewed with a sleighful of hops, orange zest, and foraged spruce tips. Probably just a decent IPA, if there is such a thing at this festival?

If ABV were nesting dolls, this one would open up forever. 14% is about all anyone can handle, will be a miracle if we can handle 2 oz.

Do you really think St. Nick wants to eat chocolate chip cookies and drink milk after busting his ass all night? Hell, no! He wants to pound lagers and eat gingerbread.

This hearty, warming brew is a classic winter ale, deep amber in color, with hints of molasses balanced by the spiciness of Chinook hops. Shorthand for boring as paste.

Another NA stout, might taste like a cold cup of stale coffee?

Matryoshka’s evil twin, but in Barleywine pants, we will be suffering through the onslaught of winter ales like the Holiday Ale days of old. This late addition replaces the loved-but-lost (drunk) Merry Monkey.

Raspberry already sounds iffy, let’s take the alcohol out to spice it up.

Beer name is a reference to the 400+ mysterious plastic Santa clones that appear in a new location every year in Portland #KeepPortlandWeird

This special porter is made for winter — rich and warming, the way they like it in the North Pole. Spread em, Santa.

Saved from the ruins of air travel! I found another can of this, the only one in the store. You have all the tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile, Mr. Grinch… Given the choice between you, I’d take the SEASICK CROCODILE! I’ll take that bet.

A hearty malt backbone gives notes of toffee, fir and toasted bread crumbs for a malty and slightly sweet base. Haha, my kind of sheister beer.

Non-Alcoholic Speedway brew boasts the same bold and complex flavor as our classic Speedway Stout. Except the original is 12% ABV. Totally the same.

Not one, not two, but - well, ok, two is fucking enough. Two beers that have been leftovers from Ail Festivals past - 2021 and 2022. We will tap them both, and despair!

This beer was banned in CT because the label has Santa on it. So they changed the label. Pairs well with Bad Elf, and Seriously Bad Elf.

The best NA Matt has had in his miserable life. Hope it was more than a one-off.